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雅思大作文9分例文

中國人寫的雅思作文有結構但語言不夠地道native speaker寫的文章夠地道但不夠雅思因此市面上總找不到完美的雅思例文

此次我特別邀請我的美國朋友同樣研究和教授雅思按照我的要求寫了一些文章這里逐一貼出來讓大家分享一下。

題目:

Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

例文:

  Some feel that the children of low income families are better equipped to deal with difficulties posed by the 'real world' when they grow up and they also believe the privileged children of wealthy families are less fit to deal with these difficulties .? The implications and veracity of this argument seem self-evident, but in fact require closer examination. (58 words)

  點評1+ 1 ' 模式最后 1 句為主題句。此段的主題句稍微有點特殊它的確否定了前面所提到的觀點從而表達出了自己的觀點此外還引出了下文特別是最后半句but in fact require closer examination,感覺是在拋磚引玉。

  The popular wisdom is that children of poorer families learn early on the value of a buck, and are thus naturally better suited to stretching money when times get tough in adulthood.?Inversely, the children of wealthy families, those born with a silver spoon in their mouths, are believed to be completely ignorant of the value of money, having had everything provided for them in their youth and oftentimes erroneously expecting the same situation in adulthood.?They are believed to be prone to overspending and financial irresponsibility. This belief, though logical, overlooks one key point which is, of course, education. (100 words)

  點評1 ' +3 模式 1 句是主題句請注意從此段的內容來看這是個讓步段即分析自己并不贊成的觀點)。雖然 4 段論的作文的主體段是兩面討論但是本人還是喜歡這樣的寫作即主體段的觀點還是有側重的把讓步段放在前面最后 1 句話引出下一段這樣過度地很自然而且自己的觀點也比較明確

  The basis of this argument is, of course, knowing the value of money, and the idea that children of the poor know this, and those of the wealthy do not.?Who though, is in a better position to teach their children the value of money; someone skilled in earning and keeping it, the wealthy parent, or someone who can not seem to acquire it, the poor parent??Both wealthy and poor children are equally likely to acquire an education in money, whether it is formal, or in the school of hard knocks.?Conversely, both children are as likely to ignore this education. (101 words)

  點評這段的內容感覺寫得不夠直接還是在分析對方觀點的漏洞請注意前面讓步段已經這么寫過了那么這一段最好是正面地論證自己的觀點這樣從內容上來說更 convincing 一點此外需要說明的是大家發現作者的內容還是有一定深度但是這是要有一定的英語功底才行的如果英語功底不行的話建議內容不要寫太深因為那樣容易造成考官看不懂你在說什么

  A poor child may believe that one can get along, if not as easily, without wealth. A wealthy child may be well trained by a parent steeped in the knowledge of money management; the key to developing this skill is education.

  點評最后一段有點像是提出解決這個問題的辦法 education 它沒有像傳統的結尾段那樣簡單的重申自己的觀點

  總結之總結

  全文的觀點有待揣摩作者很明顯是不贊成題目的說法 Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents 但是作者自己是更偏向窮人家的孩子呢還是富人家的孩子呢根據文章來看作者是中立他所看重的是他們所接受的教育In other words整篇文章又是一次中立的寫法在雅思考試中這種寫法經常使用還是非常實用的大家可以學習一下。.此外文章中有很多好詞好句特別是長句值得模仿一下

  此文9

(來源:新東方 俞鑫)

 

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