4. 離開道路數十丈處有座大屋,屋檐下站著一個中年文士,一個十一二歲的小孩。那文士見到這等情景,不禁長嘆一聲,眼眶也紅了,說道:“可憐,可憐!”
Under the eaves of a large house, some hundred yards from the road, a middle-aged scholar was standing with a ten- or eleven-year-old boy at his side. (5) He was evidently affected by this little scene, for a groan escaped his lips and he appeared to be very close to tears.
"Poor creatures!" he murmured to himself. (6)
注5. 這一句原文有兩個并列分句,先說某處有座大屋,再說檐下站著兩個人。敘事的順序可以說是由遠及近。譯文則從Under the eaves開始,然后再處理第一個分句里的內容of a large house, some hundred yards from the roads。原文“站著一個中年文士,一個十一二歲的小孩”,也是并列結構,而譯文卻是with a ten- or eleven-year-old boy at his side。這樣,原文的并列結構就變成了譯文的主從結構,突出了a middle-aged scholar。
注6. 原文主語是“那文士”,后面帶四個謂語。譯文突出第一個謂語,然后用for引出兩個從句,最后另起一段處理引語。
5. 那小孩問道:“爹爹,他們犯了什么罪?”那文士道:“又犯了什么罪?昨日和今朝,已逮去了三十幾人,都是我們浙江有名的讀書人,個個都是無辜株連。”他說到“無辜株連”四字,聲音壓得甚低,生怕給押送囚車的官兵聽見了。那小孩道:“那個小女孩還在吃奶,難道也犯了罪?真沒道理。”那文士道:“你懂得官兵沒道理,真是好孩子,唉,人為刀俎,我為魚肉,人為鼎鑊,我為麋鹿!”
"Papa," said the little boy, "what have they done wrong?" (7)
"What indeed!" said the man, bitterly. "During these last two days they must have made more than thirty arrests. All our best scholars. And all of them innocents, caught up in the net," he added in an undertone, for fear that the soldiers might hear him. (8)
"That girl's only a baby," said the boy. "What can she possibly be guilty of? (9) It's very wrong."
"So you understand that what the Government soldiers do is wrong," said the man. "Good for you, my son!" He sighed. "They are the cleaver and we are the meat. They are the cauldron and we are the deer." (10)
注7. 英語除了先出引語,后出說話人,還經常把一句引語分成兩截,把說話人插在中間。
注8. All our best scholars. And all of them innocent...都是省略句。這在口語里是常見的。這樣譯正體現了口語的特點。此外,原文“生怕……”在結構上是前面謂語的并列謂語,但其含義是說明壓低聲音的原因。因此譯文用介詞短語加that從句for fear that...,這在句子里叫狀語,表示原因。
注9. 原文“那個小女孩還在吃奶,難道也犯了罪?”前半句是陳述句,后半句是疑問句,可以放在一起。英語則不然,前半句和后半句在文字上沒有聯系,便要分成兩句。在陳述句后加句號,問題另起一句。像中文那樣用逗號把它們連在一起是不行的。
注10. 最后兩句譯文中間都加了and。請注意,我們自己譯的時候,不要把它丟掉。
6. 那孩子道:“爹,你前幾天教過我,‘人為刀俎,我為魚肉’,就是給人家斬割屠殺的意思。人家是切菜刀,是砧板,我們就是魚和肉。‘人為鼎鑊,我為麋鹿’這兩句話,意思也差不多么?”那文士道:“正是!”眼見官兵和囚車已經去遠,拉著小孩的手道:“外面風大,我們回屋里去。”當下父子二人走進書房。
"You explained 'they are the cleaver and we are the meat' the other day, papa," said the boy. "It's what they say when people are massacred or beheaded. Like meat or fish being sliced up on the chopping-board. (11) Does 'they are the cauldron and we are the deer' mean the same thing?"
"Yes, more or less," said the man; and since the train of soldiers and prison carts was now fast receding, he took the boy by the hand. (12)
"Let's go indoors now," he said. (13) "It's too windy for standing outside."
Indoors the two of them went, and into his study.
注11. it's和泛指的they都是口語里常用的說法。Like meat and fish being...也是省略句。這都體現了口語的特點。敘事像敘事,對話像對話,不是很容易做到的,值得注意。
注12. train一詞很有用,我們往往想不起它來。它可以指a number of people or animals moving in a line,也可以指a series of events or actions that are connected,用在這里是很恰當的。
此外,“拉著小孩的手”不要譯作He took the boy's hand,那是中國式的英文,He took the boy by the hand,這才是地道的英文。
注13. 從原文第4段到第6段,“文士”一詞共出現五次。第一次出現時譯為scholar,隨后便不再重復這一譯法,而交替使用he (his, him)和the man。這一點,你注意到了嗎?
作者:莊繹傳,全國翻譯專業資格(水平)考試英語專家委員會顧問,北京外國語大學教授
(來源:catti.net.cn)
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