三、不準(zhǔn)文章邏輯不清

       如果考生的文章是組織有序的，那么閱卷者從頭看到尾也不會(huì)感到糊涂。但是朗閣海外考試研究中心在此提醒考生，文章結(jié)構(gòu)的有序，并不是單純地使用了諸如first、second之類的連詞就可以達(dá)成。文章中所有的句子必須服務(wù)于你的論述主題，一旦脫離了主題，那么再精辟的連詞也是徒勞的。此外，在獨(dú)立寫(xiě)作的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)里提到了“unity”“progression”“coherence”，這就意味著考生需要將自己的觀點(diǎn)通過(guò)合理的句型表達(dá)出來(lái)，做到統(tǒng)一、層層遞進(jìn)、連貫，以期讓閱卷者能夠“一目了然”文章的意圖。以下我們來(lái)看一個(gè)例子：

       In any relationship of mine, I would wish that first of all, the person I am dealing with is honest. Even though he/ she thinks that he/ she did something wrong that I wouldn't like, he/ she'd better tell me the truth and not lie about it. Later on if I find out about a lie or hear the truth from someone else, that'd be much more unpleasant. In that case how can I ever believe or trust that person again? How can I ever believe that this person has enough confidence in me to forgive him/ her and carry on with the relationship from there. So if I cannot trust a person anymore, if the person doesn't think I can handle the truth, there is no point to continuing that relationship.

       在這個(gè)段落里，作者的語(yǔ)言流暢、準(zhǔn)確、豐富，前后銜接緊密，語(yǔ)意連貫，句式較多變，并且使用了反問(wèn)這種修辭手法，因此很好的完成了“組織”句子的目的。盡管不能說(shuō)十全十美，但是這樣的論述仍舊可以得到滿分。與之形成鮮明對(duì)比的是：

       The people lining up in the embassy are applying for a variety of visas. Some applicants want student visas. Other applicants want resident visas. The other applicants want tourist visas. Applying for resident visas is very difficult; one has to meet a lot of requirements. According to a recent survey, the largest number of applicants are applying for tourist visas. The number of people applying for student visas comes in second. Among all the applicants, only a fraction want resident visas.

       這段話的主題句顯然是第一句，根據(jù)評(píng)分要求里對(duì)于段落一致性的要求，主題句后面的支持句都必須圍繞“不同的人在大使館里申請(qǐng)不同的簽證”這個(gè)話題展開(kāi)論述。仔細(xì)分析后我們發(fā)現(xiàn)上面這段話里多了一個(gè)不相干的句子：“Applying for resident visas is very difficult; one has to meet a lot of requirement”，這句話雖然也在談簽證，但是它談?wù)摰氖恰吧暾?qǐng)簽證很困難”這個(gè)論點(diǎn)，這樣的話和段落主題就不相同了。因此考生在寫(xiě)文章時(shí)，一定要做到一個(gè)段落只講一個(gè)話題，主題句的論點(diǎn)必須貫穿這個(gè)段落，后面的每一個(gè)支持句都朝一個(gè)方向前進(jìn)，只有這樣才能寫(xiě)出條理分明的文章。

       四、不準(zhǔn)語(yǔ)言過(guò)于簡(jiǎn)單

       新托福的獨(dú)立寫(xiě)作部分要求考生的語(yǔ)言使用恰當(dāng)，不過(guò)即便考生的詞匯使用時(shí)有一些小錯(cuò)誤，他的文章也可以得到高分。但是如果同時(shí)還有一些語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤的話，那么就很難讓閱卷者準(zhǔn)確理解句子的意圖，這個(gè)時(shí)候文章的得分就會(huì)比較低。另外，經(jīng)分析發(fā)現(xiàn)，若考生只是使用一些簡(jiǎn)單句和簡(jiǎn)單的詞匯，那么他是無(wú)法來(lái)闡述較為復(fù)雜的問(wèn)題的，而當(dāng)文章的句子和單詞過(guò)于簡(jiǎn)單時(shí)，得分往往不會(huì)超過(guò)3分。

       Last month, I had a dispute with my parent. It started as a simple conversation that turned into an argument. I wanted to take a year off from school. Of course, my parents argued that I should stay in school. I tried to reason with them and I tried to persuade them that taking a year off from school and working would be valuable experience. My explanation fell on deaf ears, and they refused to let me continue the discussion. They felt I had not thoroughly examined the issue and saw no reason to debate the subject any longer.

       這段文字里作者想要表達(dá)“討論”或者它的近義詞，通過(guò)巧妙地變換詞匯，使整個(gè)段落不讓人感到乏味。這種語(yǔ)言表達(dá)的方式在獨(dú)立寫(xiě)作里是非常實(shí)用的。我們?cè)賮?lái)看看以下這個(gè)例子：

       He is rich.

       這個(gè)句子的問(wèn)題在于rich這個(gè)形容詞太含糊，他到底多有錢(qián)？從這個(gè)句子里我們無(wú)法看出。因此在獨(dú)立寫(xiě)作中考生要盡量避免使用含糊的形容詞，能夠具體的盡量要具體些。比如上面的那個(gè)句子我們可以寫(xiě)成：

       He owns a large company and has an annual income of 20 million dollars.

（來(lái)源：網(wǎng)絡(luò)）